Deva...

I first met Deva in 2004... we were both rather cautious at the start... he was replacing the boss of that time... who I was not too fond of, and I am sure that he had received some indifferent feedback on me.. Very soon, we put all that behind us and were very close. Deva was a brilliant adminstrator, had an innate understanding of numbers, and was one of the best managers I ever had... I soon moved out of his portfolio, but we became fast friends.. And there is hardly a week that goes by that I don't recall something or the other about someone who was a friend, a brother, and a guide to me...

 

You must have guessed by now... Deva is no more... he left us in 2014 after a massive heart attack in the morning one fine day in Korea at the age of 43... My only regret... I had promised that I would visit him there... and I could not keep my promise.. atleast, I will go and spend some time by his grave in some remote corner in Coastal Tamil Nadu...

 

For those who have never met Deva, it would be difficult to imagine a person who was so much fun to be around with... so warm, vivant, and full of life... with his wide smile... passionate, emotional and generous to a fault...

 

There are many incidents involving Deva... during our stay in Minneapolis...that I will never forget.. here are some of them...

 

...When I first saw Deva outside work at JC Penney... in the women's undergarments section.. I quickly called my wife and showed her my new Boss... it was really funny and Deva looked rather nonplussed...

 

...Deva at Bombay Bistro.. taking a dare and gulping down a bowl full of Red Chilli... we had the meal free... Ajay (the owner) never took a bet with any of us again...

 

...Deva at work in the midst of one of the gravest crisis... shouting, laughing, calling folks names, coaxing, cajoling and bullying all of us; but always with the end goal in mind...

 

...Deva mimicing some of the people we knew... and all of us rolling on the ground with laughter...

 

...Deva, at Holani's birthday competing on how fast we could gulp down glasses of scotch... and winning hands down every single time...

 

...Deva, the life of the party, at his farewell enjoying the Timberwolves memorablia that we got for him...

 

...Deva the perfect host... at his home during Easter Week... and Maggi serving us Idlis, Dosas, Mutton... and a host of other savories...

 

and finally... life in Minneapolis after Deva moved off... boring, lifeless, and never the same again...

Even when I moved to Delhi towards the end of 2009, my old friend Deva was my reference for my new job... and he visited me in Delhi with a Korean colleague of his and we had fun catching up over an evening of food... that was the last I would share a meal with him.

 

The last time I met Deva was in the Delhi IGI Airport.. I was flying to SFO and he to Seoul - and we shared a hop to Hong Kong.. he looked a bit tired, was graying at his temples, but was overjoyed to see me... I was a bit angry at him for not having contacted me during his trip.. but he apologized saying that he was there only for a day.. and promised next time...

 

Alas.. there was no next time... when Maggi called me and let me know that he was no more, it took me a long time to even understand... let alone believe... Even now when I walk along the airport corridors during my frequent trips, I look here and there.. hoping that it was all a nightmare and I will see my old friend Deva with his winning smile and buoyant steps walking towards me...

The mess that is India...And an alternate way forward...

 

I spent the last week touring Kashmir and that is when, amidst the grand mountains and verdant vales,  these 'random' thoughts started bothering me...

 

In the distant East, in Bengal, an acclaimed actor turned politician, and a Member of Parliament to boot, is caught on camera openly exhorting his 'boys' to get Opposition party women raped... for good measure, he adds that if need be, he would not hesitate to use guns against his opponents.

 

Right next to me, the owner of a Dhaba tells me that they only sell veggie food in the summer when people from India (or Hindustan) come down to the Hills in Kashmir as all Indians are Vegeterians, In winter when the Kashmiris and Foreigners throng the hills... they serve all kinds of meat... the sense of alienation is complete when a 'Hindustani' businessman next to me remarks that all Kashmiris are cheats and should not be trusted...

 

In Uttar Pradesh, which lies somewhat midway between these two states.. an ex-Chief Minister does not hesitate to say that 'Boys make mistakes' referring to young sex offenders who are under intense scrutiny by the Government after the horrendous Nirbhaya case fanned outrage across India...

 

All these made me think that India is now a state hovering at the brink of disaster... Gone are the values and ideals that brought us together and made us a nation... the vast majority of our world is still steeped in outdated customs, factionalism, casteism, anachronistic rituals.. and meaningless jingoism...

 

Why did this happen? I have been looking and searching for answers for quite some time... how come that people across castes, religions, creeds from this ancient sub-continent could move toa place like Mauritius and create a thriving vibrant society.... while the parent civilization is in the anguished thores of a major seizure...

 

I believe that we, as a nation, have allowed multi-cultarism and diversity to go too far... there are just too many cultures, too many customs, too many rituals, too many beliefs, and perhaps too many Gods to allow us to come together and be ONE unless we stress on integration..

 

Here are my suggestions... may sound naive to some... but straight from the heart...

 

1. Encourage cross community/ cross caste/ cross region mixing - encourage people to inter-marry, disregarding social barriers - while the rich vs. poor is highlighted much in popular Bollywood movies, the other aspects are ignored... for obvious reasons... it is time to start this initiative... and it will go a long way in integrating the people.

 

2. Incentivize people to settle and work in places other than that of their origin and assimilate into the local culture.. while this is seen to be happening to some degree in setors like IT and BPO in 'India', sadly this has not been the case in the larger 'Bharat'.. Even in the USA, while most of the Europeans and Africans settled in and became 'Americans', the Indian community has remained 'Gujrati', 'Bengali', 'Telegu' etc.

 

3. Move to a uniform civil code - will encourage people to assimilate and integrate... if not in the current generation, atleast 2-3 generations down the line. We cannot call ourselves a secular democratic republic unless the law applies to all the citizens uniformly.. this, in my view, is an absolute must.

 

4. Focus on common set of languages.. while it is difficult to enforce a 'single' language Pan India, it is in our interest to make sure that anybody anywhere in this vast country atleast have languages that they can communicate in or atleast understand each other... build this into our Educational foundation.. reemphasize... reiterate.. and no compromise.

 

5. Defocus from the maxim of 'Unity in Diversity'... it sounds good on paper... but 'too much' diversity either in 'wealth', or in 'social norms', or in 'ways of life' ultimately lead to feelings of 'separatism' and 'resentment'... we should instead focus on 'Common threads'... celebrate what we share in common and not how we differ.

 

For, in simple words, if two people meet in India, and are from different religions, different castes, different languages... they usually have nothing in common to identify themselves with... it is high time we focused on a 'common' set of agenda items that will build and sustain our national identity...

 

We would do well to heed Patrick French, a British writer who has made writing about India his passion, who aptly states in his book 'India - a Portrait', "Integration is welcoming; it says join us; Multi-cultarism says, go to your Ghetto"

 

Cheers... till next time... let me know your thoughts...